How Fire Across the Galaxy Should Have Ended
by 1-1 Marines
Summary: Not a fix-it fic but more of a comedic one-shot. AU, of course, and not meant to be taken seriously. Rated T to be safe.


**ME: Here's a somewhat humorous, if completely unlikely, way Fire Across the Galaxy could have gone.**

The Inquisitor held onto the engineering pathway for dear life as the hyperdrive spat flames. Now he desperately wished that he had simply killed the Jedi, a Human man that had been identified by DNA sample as Caleb Dume, the last Padawan of Depa Billaba, when he had had the chance.

Now Dume, who had identified himself as "Kanan Jarrus" under torture, pointed his lightsabers' blades at the Pau'an Dark Side Adept. "If you strike me down," the pale-skinned Jedi Hunter said in a level voice, "I will become far more powerful than you can imagine."

"Wait, what?" replied Jarrus.

The Pau'an shook his head. _Drat, I thought it sounded cool in my head, but I guess it just didn't fit._ "Okay, fine," he said. "What I mean, Jedi, is now that you've defeated me, _Lord Darth Vader_ himself will show up to deal with you. Trust me, he's way worse than me."

Jarrus deactivated his weapons. "Well, then now would be a good time to make a run for it," he said. "I spare you, Inquisitor."

"Yeah, I'm not taking any chances with Vader," replied the Inquisitor. "Buh-bye now."

The Inquisitor released his grip on the pathway, prepared to be incinerated. _After all,_ he thought, _a quick and painful death is preferable to a slow and-_.

"NOOOO!" yelled Kanan as he got a grip on the Inquisitor with the Force, saving him from being burned alive. He then lifted the Inquisitor back up onto the pathway and set him down.

To say his Pau'an arch-nemesis was confused would be an understatement. "Why did you save me?" he asked.

"Well, did you really want to burn to death?" Kanan shot back. "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."

"I _was_ your worst-."

"Kanan, get back!" Ezra shouted as he opened fire on the Inquisitor with his energy slingshot. The Dark Jedi was unharmed thanks to his outfit and reflexes, but the ineffective barrage did prove annoying for the Pau'an to deal with.

"Ezra, stop!" ordered Kanan. He then turned to the Inquisitor. "Listen, buddy, if you help us get off this ship, we can help you hide from the Empire."

The menacing but defeated Near-Human considered things for a moment. "Fine," he said in a cultured Coruscanti accent. "I accept your offer, Jedi. Now I need a weapon."

"Wait, what?!" protested Ezra. "You seriously expect us to not only trust you, but to give you a weapon?!"

Kanan nodded. "Good point," he said. "Sorry, Inquisitor, but you'll just have to be a guide." He considered telling Ezra to give the Inquisitor his energy slingshot, but even that struck him as too much risk with too little reward.

The Pau'an bit back a curse. "Very well, follow me."

The various Stormtroopers and Imperial Navy troopers aboard _Sovereign_ did their best to hinder the unlikely trio's escape, but the few who tried were defeated without much fanfare, the Inquisitor making use of his Force powers to defend himself and his two new allies. Most of the Star Destroyer's crew were more concerned with evacuating their ship than going down with her, so it was a relatively easy if tense trip to the hangar where the Inquisitor's personal TIE Advanced V1 was stored.

"I'm glad I have a helmet," the Inquisitor said as he sat down in his seat, secured himself with the restraints, then put on said helmet.

"Why?" Kanan asked as he closed the hatch, sealing the fighter.

"This is a one-person starship," the Inquisitor said as he prepared for liftoff. "The life support systems are designed to support one Human or humanoid, not three, and I don't want to suffocate."

"Wait, what?!" Ezra said as the V1's repulsors engaged. "You want us to die?!"

The middle-aged Pau'an shook his head as he increased power to the ion engines. "No, boy," he said. "If anything, by limiting my own consumption of oxygen, I increase the odds that both you and your instructor survive. Now shut up, talking just eats up oxygen."

Kanan sighed. "I suppose so."

The TIE accelerated away from Sovereign, only for Kanan to notice that the rest of the Spectres had come under attack in their own stolen TIE. "Hey, Inquisitor, those are my friends!" he shouted. "We have to help them."

The Inquisitor rolled his eyes under his helmet. "The agreement was to help you two escape, not save your fellow Rebels." It would be difficult enough to escape the Mustafar system without trying to preserve the lives of the more insignificant Rebel insurgents.

"Well, you got no choice," Ezra said as he aimed his lightsaber's blaster at the controls. "Or I shoot at your controls."

"What?!" the Pau'an asked in disbelief. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me, Inky. This is a nice ship you got here, it'd be a shame if something happened to it."

The Inquisitor sighed. "Fine."

Against all odds, not only did Chopper return in the Gozanti the Spectres had stolen back on Lothal but he arrived with three CR90 corvettes, famous Corellian starships commonly used as blockade runners. What TIEs had not been destroyed by the two Rebel-commandeered fighters were shot down, disabled, or forced to flee by the reinforcements Chopper had brought with him.

"Hey, Inquisitor," Kanan asked after they docked with the Gozanti.

"Yes, Jedi?" responded the Pau'an.

"What's your real name?"

The Inquisitor paused for a moment. "I gave that up a long time ago."

Ezra smirked. "Well, then," he said, "why don't we just call you Inky, then?"

"That's a terrible name!" the Inquisitor protested.

"Too late," Kanan said as the Gozanti proceeded into hyperspace. "From this point forward, your name is Inky. That's what you get for torturing me and trying to murder both of us."

 _Now how to explain this to Hera..._

 **ME: I apologize for how crappy my latest TECD update was. I don't know how to adapt The Mystery of Chopper Base at the moment (maybe I should focus on Maya, because Ahsokafanboy1138 suggested that I give her some spotlight, while still referencing the events of the episode and having Kanan, Ahsoka, and Ezra depart for Malachor) and my time will likely be short until May 10th at least. This isn't a letter of resignation, but me indicating that I may be taking a leave of absence for a while due to college and stuff. I reiterate that I don't want to rush things and give you guys substandard updates. Regardless of how things go, I intend to finish TECD at the moment, and even if my time is limited, I want to thank you all for all the attention and support I've been given. May God watch over, guide, and shelter you all, y'all deserve it and have been blessings in my life.**


End file.
